


What can we deduce about his heart?

by iceprinceholmes



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes, Protective Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock is a good brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceholmes/pseuds/iceprinceholmes
Summary: Sherlock remember the first time Mycroft told him that being alone is safer than caring and now he is sitting there watching his brother with a 'goldfish'
Relationships: Mycroft Holmes & Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade
Comments: 13
Kudos: 156





	What can we deduce about his heart?

People would be surprised if they know that Sherlock had grew up just like another normal child. He was what his family called as a bubbly and happy child, always had a smile on his face and running after his big brother like little duckling.

At that age, Sherlock saw Mycroft as his idol. Every word that Mycroft said was treated like a gospel and only Mycroft could handle the unruly child. The two were inseparable that their parents just let Mycroft look after the little boy most of the time.

To Sherlock, Mycroft was like a beacon of light, a strong fortress that would always protect him from the night monster under his bed and the mean children in the playground. So, when he walked past his brother’s room and heard a quiet sniffle, Sherlock paused and peaked his head to the slightly ajar door.

He saw the sight of his brother, sitting against his headboard, curled up with his head buried between his knees. It was a sight that Sherlock would never associate with Mycroft because it made his brother looked small. Mycroft should never look small.

Sherlock opened the door and stepped inside quietly. As he walked closer toward the bed, he realized that his brother is crying.

_Mycroft is crying. Mycroft should not be crying._

"Mycie are you okay?" Sherlock asked quietly, trying not to startle his brother but he watched as Mycroft’s body tensed up at his voice.

Sherlock waited, all worried, until he saw his brother rubbed his teary eyes with the sleeves of his shirt before looked up, meeting his eyes.

"I'm fine, 'Lock."

"But you are crying.." Sherlock frowned seeing the usual calm grey eyes of his brother now filled with tears the keep streaming down.

"It will pass."

"..."

Sherlock couldn't understand what would pass but he just nodded his head. He took off his shoes and carefully climbed the bed and quickly made his way to his brother’s side. He didn’t know what made his brother cried but he knew what he could do to help. He reached out his hand and carefully patted the ginger hair of his brother, it was something that Mycroft always do when he cried.

He didn’t ask more and just watched as Mycroft cried silently. He didn’t know how long they had stayed in silence and in the same position. He was sitting front his brother, patting his head, and watched as the tears finally stopped coming out of the grey eyes of his brother.

"Don't give your heart to other, Lock."

The word came out and broke the silence that had been wrapped them in the past ten minutes or so. Sherlock only frowned as he watched the sudden determination on his brother’s eyes.

"Why?"

"They only hurt you. Alone. Being alone is safer. Alone is what I have, Lock."

"But you have me.” Sherlock titled his head, didn’t understand why Mycroft wanted to be alone. He didn’t want to be left by his brother.

"I do. I do have you." The weak smile on his brother face relieved the ache in his chest. He knew his brother would never leave.

At that time Sherlock didn't know what his brother really meant that being alone was safer, that he should not gave his heart to other. He had to learn it the hard way and it started when his brother left for university. He knew he couldn’t blame it on Mycroft but at that moment he felt like he was abandoned by his big brother, his rock. And as time continued his bitterness just piled up and there also the case of being hurt by people he considered as friend.

He ended up taking the same path as his brother. He walked the road alone and just like Mycroft like to say, caring is not an advantage. He tried to live by those words but then he found himself collecting people in his life that stayed no matter what he did. He had friends that cared for him. He even had a best friend.

Sherlock blinked few times, looking up from the glass of brandy in his arm to the lively living room. He had cared for many people despite he was trying to do the opposite and the people that currently celebrating Christmas in 221b was a testament to that. He tried to hide his satisfaction smile behind his glass as his blue eyes scanned the room.

Molly and Mrs. Hudson were talking in the sofa about some recipes they found on the internet and talking about the food that were being served. John was being a good host, roaming around the room, offering all their guest with biscuits and other light meal that they were serving, and then there was---

Lestrade and his brother.

Sherlock blinked when he saw the epitome of British government all huddled in the corner of the room, nursing a glass of brandy and next to him stood Lestrade. He would have called out his brother for hiding away like that but as he watched how the two stood together like that, he easily deduced that the two wanted some privacy.

Sherlock frowned at the sight and kept his eyes on the two men. It was not the first time that he had seen the two men together, after all the two had all those secret meetings regarding him. Yes, he knew about that despite Lestrade trying to keep it a secret. It just there was something with the way the two men standing close to each other.

He could tell that the two were talking but Sherlock couldn’t hear it and lip reading was also difficult with his current angle. It also didn’t help that Lestrade positioned himself in front of his brother, as if trying to protect the civil servant from the rest of the world. It was a gesture that came natural from Lestrade and Sherlock could tell that the silver-haired man had done this many time before.

There just something about the two that kept Sherlock’s eyes fixed on them. He spotted little touches that came from Lestrade toward his brother. A little nudge on the elbow, a too long caress on the arm, the copper even reached out to hold on his brother’s glass when he needed to use both hands. Every gesture that they did was natural and intimate. He also noticed how they were invading each other private space, something that his brother usually loathed.

Sherlock was still deducing, gathering more data about what he was seeing when he watched Lestrade’s hand, that previously resting on Mycroft’s elbow, slowly went down and wrapped around his brother’s waist underneath the suit jacket and pulled the other closer.

He almost choked at the sight but then he watched his brother leaned in to the embrace and rested his head against Lestrade’s shoulder. The two talked more and he watched as Lestrade laughed quietly before pressing a quick kiss on Mycroft’s temple.

And that caused Sherlock to properly choked on the brandy that he was drinking.

“Heukk--!”

“Sherlock! Are you alright?”

Sherlock waved his hand at the concerned John Watson who quickly was by his side, rubbing his back as he continued to cough.

“You should have been careful when you drink.” John tutted before he thanked Mrs. Hudson who quickly handed him a glass of water.

“T-Thank you, John.” The voice that coming out of his own throat was rough and Sherlock still could feel the burn on his throat. He slowly took a sip of his water while his eyes discreetly glanced toward his brother and Lestrade.

The two men was no longer embracing each other but they were still standing close, invading each other private space.

_How could I have missed that?_

Okay. Probably he able to miss that because he wasn’t really keen to know about his brother’s private life and as much as he hated to admit it, Mycroft could hide things from his deduction. On the other hand, he didn’t know how he could miss it from Lestrade. The man was like an open book that Sherlock sometimes had a hard time trying to shut his mind from reading too much of him. He wondered what was the story behind the whole fiasco.

_The ice man who always in solitude. Is he finally melted?_

That question stayed in his mind even few days after the party. He had spent most of his day, sitting down on his chair, going through his mind palace and trying to remember everything that he knew about Lestrade and his brother.

Lestrade was easy one. The door that lead to all his information was easy to find and within few hours Sherlock able to come up with a quick summary. The man was bisexual. He was divorced after marrying his wife out of obligation and family pressure, but he always preferred men to be his partner. He found Mycroft attractive, actually Mycroft fell into Lestrade’s ideal man to be his partner so it wasn’t surprising that Lestrade tried to pursue something further more than friendship.

Sherlock wasn’t able to see that at first because he saw the two as his handler—just two men trying to control him and made sure he didn’t ruin his life. He huffed when he realized that he missed all the clue because he just used to the fact that those two were meeting each other to discuss about him.

Mycroft on the other hand was more difficult.

People would think that Mycroft’s room in his mind palace would be the smallest but it was the other way around. Mycroft had one floor for himself. Every memories and facts about his brother were always stored in that one floor. And in that floor, there were many doors that would lead him to different memories, facts, information, even stages of Mycroft’s life.

It took him two days almost three to finally able to sort all the information he had about Mycroft’s personal life and preference. He had managed to find suppressed memories from that he locked away from his childhood and saw a different side of his brother. A brother that wasn’t as cold as Antarctica. A brother who would always smile warmly at him. A brother who had cried because his _heart_ was broken and that one last bit snapped Sherlock back to reality.

His brother was broken once. Actually, many times after that first heart break.

His brother had decided to freeze all his sentiment so he wouldn’t get hurt anymore except for Sherlock. And now his brother had opened his heart again for Lestrade.

“Sherlock? Where are you going?”

“Scotland Yard.”

“Wait—Did we have a case?”

“No. I just need to talk to Lestrade.”

“Sher---”

The consulting detective ignore his friend’s calling and just ran out of their flat. He quickly stopped a taxi and made his way to Scotland Yard. He had some business to do.

***

“Sherlock! What are you doing here?”

The younger man had burst into Lestrade’s office without a knock. He could hear the sound of Mycroft’s nagging in his mind but he ignored it as his eyes fixed on the other man. He quickly ran his eyes all over the silver haired man, letting all the deduction rushed to his mind.

“What is your intention with my brother?”

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Lestrade. You heard my question.” Sherlock tried not to roll his eyes as he watched that other man just gaped like a goldfish.

_Everyone is indeed a goldfish. Mycroft is right about that one._

“I don’t think it is none of your business.”

The reply snapped Sherlock back to reality and he watched as Lestrade’s demeanour had turned all serious and tensed. Gone the easy going Lestrade and right now, sitting in front of him was a Detective Inspector Lestrade who would not take his nonsense so easily. The man did gain his current position by his own merit.

“When it comes to my brother it is. Now, answer the question, Lestrade.”

The brown eyes met his own blue-greenish eyes. No one spoke for a few seconds until Lestrade let out a sigh and leaned back against his chair. Sherlock tried not to look all smug about winning the eye match.

“I plan to date your brother. Actually, I am dating him and I plan to stay as long as he wanted me to. Do you have a problem with that?”

Sherlock knew that Lestrade was genuine but he was still surprised at how the older man seemed trying to goat him into a fight, implying that he should not be even worried about the whole situation. That Sherlock didn’t have any right to question about the situation.

“And all is consensual?”

“Consen---” Lestrade blinked at the question before his whole expression turned into one that only be explained as outrageous “Of course it is! It’s not like I am threatening your brother to get into a relationship with me! I have to beg and plead him many times to agree on a second date.”

Sherlock could feel some weight lifted off from his shoulder when he heard the answer and nodded his head. He knew Lestrade could never do that but he still wanted to make sure.

“Good.”

“Is that all you want to ask? Might as well asking about our sex life.” Lestrade sneered and Sherlock just shuddered at the thought of his brother’s sex life.

“No. I don’t need that to have that ingrained in my mind.”

Lestrade huffed as he crossed his arms against his chest and waited for Sherlock to continue.

“Just want you to know that I am a chemist, Lestrade.” Sherlock’s tone turned into something more serious as he fixed Lestrade with his cold gaze.

“Yes, I know that.”

“I also know how to murder people effectively that you won’t be able to find clue on who or what that kill that person.”

“I also know that.”

“I would not hesitate to do things to you if you hurt my brother. Not even Scotland Yard would ever find your body when I am done with you. Do you understand that Lestrade?”

Their eyes met again, this time Sherlock made sure that his _threat_ was serious and real.

“Crystal.”

“Good and if you told my brother about this conversation, I’ll make nick your badge again.”

Sherlock didn’t wait a reply and just turned around, causing his coat to fly behind him all dramatically. Now that he had Lestrade’s words that he wouldn’t hurt his brother he could put this rest and just watched over the whole thing from afar. That was his thought until his phone ring the moment he stepped out of the elevator.

_5 minutes. He is slipping._

“What are you doing?”

“Hello, brother mine.”

“Sherlock, what are you doing?”

“I just had a friendly chat.”

Even through phone call, Sherlock could see his brother pinching the bridge of nose in frustration. The image was enough to cause a little smile on his face.

“Is that what you call threatening office of the law? Friendly chat?”

“I considered it as friendly chat. After all, we are discussing about private matter. Did Lestrade know that you bug his office.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“So, the answer is he doesn’t.”

“Sherlock.”

_And that was the warning tone._

Sherlock rolled his eyes as he continued to walk out of the Yard, noticing a black car that was waiting for him. He knew his brother wasn’t in that car and so he made his way to it.

“I am just looking after you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could think about it and he had the pleasure to hear his brother became speechless because of it. The younger man smirked as he opened the door to the black car and slide inside. The moment he closed the door, the car started moving heading for Baker Street.

“Why?”

“Because I’m your brother. You did the same to Lestrade and John when they started to interact with me.” He pointed out like it was the most obvious thing but he could tell that this conversation about sentiment was uncomfortable for the two of them.

Sherlock couldn’t help but realized that in the past three decades they never talked properly about their feelings. Well, Mycroft tried but Sherlock always shut it down. It was so different with their childhood where they easily talked about it.

“You never cared before.”

“Just because I don’t show or talk about it, doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

The only saving grace about this whole situation was that they were doing this whole thing through a phone call and not meeting each other face to face. That would be too much even for him.

“I don’t want to see you heart broken again.” He said softly as he looked out of the window, watching London passing by, “It doesn’t suit you.”

Sherlock didn’t know if Mycroft remembered about that one incident when they were young but when he could hear the little ‘oh’ coming from his phone it was apparent that the older man knew what he meant.

“I didn’t know you remember that.”

“I never delete thing from my mind unless they are unnecessary.” Sherlock rolled his eyes before his tone changed into something fonder, “and that was an important memory, Mycie.”

The childhood nickname just slipped easily unconsciously and Sherlock wanted to quickly to retract thing but before he could say anything else, he heard Mycroft’s voice all soft in his ears.

“Thank you, ‘Lock.”

Sherlock should not be embarrassed or feel all warmth and hearing his brother calling him with that nickname. But he couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face.

“You’re welcome.” He cleared his throat and tried to look away even though his brother wasn’t in the car with him, “But this is the only time I’m doing this.”

“I know.”

“Don’t bring this up to anyone.”

“Of course. This conversation never happens anyway.”

Sherlock glared at the street as the car getting closer to Baker Street.

“Anyway, I have to go. Experiments to be done, John to be annoyed. You know…”

“The usual stuffs. Of course.”

Sherlock bit his lower lips, not sure how to end the call.

“Sherlock.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you again and for giving your blessing.”

Sherlock huffs before the phone call ended. He didn’t even able to say anything in reply to the words of his brother’s. Trust Mycroft that he wanted to have the last say even in this. He shook his head and got out of the car when it stopped in front of 221B. He just quickly made his way upstairs and decided to send a quick text to his mother.

[Mycroft is in a relationship. You should invite them for Sunday brunch. SH.]

He smirked as he pocketed his phone and knew that his mother would just happily fuss over the new couple. He might as well throw his brother and his lover to his mother so she would stop fuss over him. It was the least Mycroft could do after making him talked about his feelings like that.

_After all his brother found a goldfish and he doesn’t have to be alone anymore. It should be celebrated._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first time I decided to write based on Sherlock's POV. This one is actually inspired by my old fic 'All Alone', one line in that fic reminded me that Sherlock had said the same thing in the series and I wondered that Mycroft was the one that thought him that... and ta-da here we are.
> 
> It is short and I hope it is enough to give you some holmes brother feelings!


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